you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
