Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You are the jesus of drinking
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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