I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
