Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
