if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
well you can't waste a boner
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
