Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
