problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
