I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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