i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
