I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
operation harelip BJ is a go
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
