I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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