GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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