I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
