i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
