okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
