O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
