I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
