He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
