He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
