If i come over, it means nothing
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
