Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
