Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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