Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
