I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
