Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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