i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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