I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
