the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
