Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
