Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
