is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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