I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
