I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
