Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
