Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
