he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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