Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
