the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
