I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
