Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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