Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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