that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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