So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
