My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
