I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just want to make out with him forever
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
