Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

THAT'LL be a good time.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.

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(818): View more from California

im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.

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(775): View more from Nevada

THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

you had me at cake vodka

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!

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(662): View more from Mississippi

‪I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse. ‬

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