Your tits are I can't wait for
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
