my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
