I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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