She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
